Brightest Side of Bright

So much has happened since my last entry!  (As usual!)  I filed for unemployment for my birthday.  It was extremely hard for me to do it but I’m glad I did because we need the money.  I should definitely have done it sooner!  I have been working for 10 years and never used it and that is what it is supposed to be there for… times when you are trying to find a job and are just unsuccessful. That about sums up what I’ve been going through.

I went on a bunch of interviews but it was all scams, collections, or a pyramid scheme!  I loathe people who take advantage of people who are already down!  I’m trying desperately to find a job and instead of real offers these fake scams keep targeting me and I keep almost falling for them!  It’s awful and scary!

Luckily I went on a real interview with a company that looks really interesting!  The position is an Inventory Administration.  I applied because I seemed uniquely qualified for the position with my past work history and my degree but I wasn’t too excited about it because I don’t want to go back to inventory… But I applied because I thought I could get it.  I hadn’t felt so great about an interview since my first job out of college, the warehouse job! I totally rocked the interview!  And I asked three different ways about the job to make sure it was actually interesting and computer based and not bin stocking or lame.  It really seems like the perfect fit for me!  It uses my degree AND my past work experience!  I’m SO excited!!! They called me back the next day and offered me the job!!!! YAY!!!  It pays a little bit less then my last job but that’s okay because it will not crush my soul!  Also it is Mon-Fri from 7-4!  And I will have my own desk and everything!  And there’s not even a ceiling support column sharing my desk space with me!  It’s a real whole desk!  Also- they are excited about my wedding!!  They wanted me to start that Monday and it was Thursday when they called!  I said yes and still have flexibility with my schedule and have time off for the wedding!  The job is awesome so far!  Lots of learning and organizing and data entry and cycle counts!  It’s like all the parts of my old job that I liked and I get paid WAY more to do it!  I really see this job as a blessing!  For the first time, I can see a future with a company.  I see myself on at least  a three year plan with them  It’s VERY exciting and doesn’t crush my soul!!!  Also, we totally live in the future!  There is some really interesting stuff going on at my company!  OMG! Also, on my 4th day of work, my boss’s boss let me know he volunteered me to look over the GIANT contract proposal people have been working on for months, because, you know, I have a degree in English and do technical writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I WAS BLOWN AWAY by this!  My old jobs never volunteered me for anything positive or interesting!

I’m so happy!  I feel like a champagne bottle filled with joy and excitement!  What an incredibly positive feeling!  Finally, I feel like things are looking up.  I sort of feel like I’d hit rock bottom.  I plan on using ti to build a foundation for my new, more positive, and less stressed future!

Also, I discovered SMASH Books! They are totes fabulous!  It’s like starter scrap-booking for dummies.  And I love it because it is a junk drawer journal that is messy AND beautiful! ❤ So wonderful!

And my cousin is doing so much better!  She’s dealing with stuff now instead of just using distractions to avoid her feelings.  I believe we’re helping each other heal.  I appreciate her friendship a lot and I’m continually surprised by how awesome she is!

Also, she and my future twin planned me an EPIC bachelorette party!  It was super fun!  I dubbed all us ladies the “Glitteratzi” We were!  8 girlfriends plus myself and NO ONE puked, cried, or had drama!!! Everyone just had a fabulous time!  And, I got “exactly as drunk as I wanted to be!” Wooo!  What a party! I was still drunk the next morning at 6am!  LoLz!  I was hungover that afternoon though… ugh!  LoL It was still worth it!

I’m getting married next week! HOLY SHIT! I’m getting married.  Next week! WOW!  It’s hard to believe it’s finally here!  Time seems to have passed very quickly but it is strange because so much has changed in the time I’ve been engaged!  I feel ready for marriage and to “begin” our lives together.  I am also definitely ready for the wedding to be over!  It’s turned out to be nightmarishly expensive!  Also, people have gone crazy about it from the stress.  I just want the spending to stop and the love to flow like it used to!  My poor mom and mother in law… I am saying special prayers for their health and sanity and happiness!  The amount of money we’ve spent on the wedding is staggering…and beggaring… I literally don’t know how my parents have done it!  The final payment for the venue is due a week from tomorrow and we’ll need to “find” another few thousand dollars.

I wish my grandparents could be at the wedding.  My heart aches a bit with their absence.  Lots of other people are coming but I will really miss them.  They have always loved and supported me and Fiance. They actually knew he was the one even before I was ready to admit it to myself.  I hope we can travel like they have.  It is something I aspire to and admire about them.  Fiance and I can’t afford a honeymoon right now.  I had initially thought the wedding would be  a certain price.  It is more then twice that now so there is no way.  Fiance still never got his passport.  I’m still mad about it too…

We are talking about buying a house.  I don’t know if I want one or if I would rather travel, or if I want a newer car… The AC on my car is out.  It will cost $700 to fix.  All the money I’ve dumped into that car… I could have bought something new for sure.  I don’t really have a plan after the wedding past paying off the wedding and not doing more wedding stuff!  Maybe we’ll get a cat… I still would rather have a dog.

It feels like I’m nearing the end of another chapter in my life.  I can see the white space just ahead.  I am apprehensive and excited about it.  I will release the cork and pop/shoot my excitement and my joy into that black space that I can finally see is filled with optimism.

 

End of the Inventory Chapter

I have reached the end of the Inventory Job chapter of my life!!! FINALLY! I stuck it out and was successful and learned a ton and made many new friends.  Tomorrow is my last day!  Only ten more hours to go!  I am SO excited!  I’m also a bit terrified… Additionally, I’m a bit sad.  I will miss a lot of my old coworkers.  Many of them were nice and it was really the people there that allowed me to stay with the job as long as I did.  I’m relieved this chapter is over though and I’m so glad it’s had a happy end!  June was a great month for me!  I got engaged!  I moved out of the ghetto and into a wonderful apartment!  I had a job interview and was offered a new job!  I am now an Admissions Person with A Private Online University!  That sounds SO MUCH better then Warehouse Person!  My degree is finally worth it!  I’m almost literally making twice what I did at the warehouse job.  My new job starts on 7/25.  Despite all the drama, despite all the shenanigans – I MADE IT!

I really am amazing!  I am so proud of myself for continuing to try and for not settling or giving up.  I’m proud that I’ve maintained my integrity and my friendliness and my smile.  I still see the world as a magical place and things are finally going according to my plans!  All we need now is for Fiance to also get a great job and to get a dog!  And maybe a house!  I don’t know about the house yet though.  I’m excited for the future but I’m also excited for the present!  I can finally look around and be content, at least for a while.  I think this new job will teach me many new skills and I think it will be a place where I can grow!  I can’t believe my Inventory career is over!  It’s so overwhelming!  I hope I don’t cry tomorrow.  I’d wanted to make some people cards… but I didn’t… Everything will be okay.  I just need to keep on smiling and everything will be okay.

(Author’s Note: LoL Irony!  End of inventory indeed…  Also notice my excitement about this job? Yeah, turns out I wasn’t helping anyone go to school.  Nope.  I was a phone salesperson who had to call upwards of 300 people a day and try to get them to apply to get into an online degree program.  They didn’t need school? Nonsense, I just wasn’t able to “overcome their objections.”  What I learned from that job was that there is no way to actually be removed from a call list.  Instead those people are trained to just set a call date for a few months down the road so someone else can have a shot at convincing you.  I only lasted at this job for 6 months.  It was a million times worse then Inventory but at least the money was great!  I had planned on working there to pay for the wedding but they were doing layoffs and I was offered a buy out or a chance to keep an awful job I hated.  I TOOK THE BUY OUT! ALL RIGHT!  I then had a couple months off work to be unemployed.  I used some of the spin selling techniques I learned at this job to spin being unemployed to, “I took a few months off work to plan my wedding.” BAM! And realistically… it totally worked!  I got another job the second week in May (lol a combo Inventory/Office Worker job) and on the first we had an incredible wedding that was well planned and way more affordable then it could have been because I found all the best deals in my spare time. But that’s a story for another entry.)