Not an April Fool’s Day Prank

Living with a crazy lady for five months appears to have made me reckless.

I am now living with two guys BW (18, in high school) and CR (25, works at Website).  They are fellow nerds but also rock climb and do projects and drive motorcycles/speed bikes (ZK1490? Ninja and Kawasaki).

As living at Roommate’s became more and more awful, I stopped writing about it and telling people how bad it was.  After we agreed to extend our agreement, the situation rapidly deteriorated.  By the end of February I was ready to look for other options (as evidenced by my last entry.)  I began searching at the beginning of March and on 3/31 I moved out of Roommate’s and in with the guys!  I’m already SO much happier!  I have roommates!  They’re nice!  We’ve had dinner together my first two nights!  They helped me move in!  I have my own room with just stuff I want in it.  I can lock them out!  I get to keep things in the bathroom!  I get to keep things in the kitchen!  I have a closet!  I have a ceiling fan!  I have a fan that doesn’t squeak ALL the time!  I have a key to the house!  I get to sleep in the house!  If I did die in the garage, my roommates would notice!  There are no pets or crazy old ladies!  I only live 7 miles from work instead of 20 miles!  I won’t have to get up at 4:30 am anymore!  There are no pets!  I get to use the light switches!  I don’t have to check my bed for crickets before crawling under the covers!  I don’t have to wipe out the kitchen sink after using it!  I can throw away paper towels!  I can use their pool instead of just looking at the pool in the backyard!  I know how many people have access to the house!  I can turn off the TV!  I can take a hot shower!  I can get home from work and eat dinner instead of spending an hour feeding someone else’s pets!

I met CR three times before deciding to move in and BW only once.  I saw the house before agreeing and moved in four days later.  A week before that I learned CR was/might be looking for another roommate.

Tonight they took me riding.  We went 145 MPH!!! We also popped a wheely! (Author’s Note:  This is NOT an exaggeration.  Those things really happened (not at the same time. duh.)  Yep, I was definitely reckless!) I rode on the “world’s fastest production motorcycle!  IT WAS AMAZING!  OMG the adrenaline! WOW!  What a thrill!  I did really well!  It was a great roommate bonding experience!  We came home and I made cookies! …There is so much to say about all that has happened.  Most of me doesn’t want to remember any of it (despite the amazing story stuff I could get form it all.)

I keep procrastinating because I don’t want to sleep because that means I will wake up and have to go to work.  I will now go to sleep.  Perhaps when it’s not so immediate I’ll be able to document these recent events.

(Author’s Note: Nope.  Didn’t really happen.  I have happily let most of those shenanigans fade into the black hole of memory and time and occasionally will bring up a few stories if I’m quite intoxicated and asked directly.  Those stories do make a great comedic stand up act….)

Tell That Funny Story About Your Life

Someday, I will look back on all this and be amused.  That day is not today.  Now, living it all, I find myself raging at the circumstances beyond my control.  I find myself feeling trapped and without viable options.  I find myself scared and sick and full of rage.

“Faerie, tell that funny story about your life!” Says AG at dinner.  We are at three tables crowded together in the center of Applebee’s on a Saturday evening after work.  There are twelve of us coworkers there.

“Oh, you mean about how I pay to live with a 62 year old grandma?  Or how about how I sleep in a garage?”

“You sleep in the garage?!” exclaims DS.

“Yes, I pay to sleep in the garage.” I calmly reply.  My right eye begins to twitch.

“Oh my god!  That is not humane!  This is BigCity!  What are you going to do in the summer?” Asks DS.

“Shit, what are you going to do in two weeks when it starts getting hot?” KM retorts.

“Well I already bought a heater.  Yes, a heater, in BigCity.  It gets better though.  Want to know the best part?  She has a goat.”

“A What?” Someone questions.

“Did you say goat?”

“Yes and the best part.  I pay to live with a 62 year old grandma, I sleep in the garage, I live with a goat, and the goat gets the bigger garage.” I say.

“No shit?” Everyone is laughing.

“Oh no, it shits a lot.  Roommate and I had to have a talk about how her goat shits a lot and even though I do, in fact, sweep goat shit every night when I feed the animals, the goat still shits all night and the next ten hours of the day while I’m at work.  She may not think I sweep it up but I do.”  The whole table is laughing while I respond to their incredulous questions.  Their laughter punctuates the “funny story about my life.”

“Oh my god.   And you pay for this? How much do you pay?”

“You should move out!”

“We need to work on an exit strategy for you.”

“I find myself still asking if its worth it.  Is there still value in living there?  Despite the shenanigans and craziness it is quite cheap and I don’t know if I can afford to live anywhere else.”  I am raging about my life to twelve people I work with and they are all laughing hysterically.  I didn’t expect my rage to be amusing but I’m glad my situation is good for something other than rage.  I’ve known that sometimes people find me funny, but I didn’t expect my sincere feelings about the state of my life to bring so much mirth to others.  I guess that when you look at how other people are living it is easier to look at your own life and say, well at least I don’t live in a garage.  At least I don’t live with a goat.  At least the goat doesn’t live in the bigger garage.  “Someday,” I say confidently to the crowd, “this will make a very funny story.”

“That day is today.  Faerie, that day is today” laughs KM.  The rest of the table laughs along and I cannot help but to laugh along with them because it could always be worse.  I could have to share the garage with the goat…

 

WTF Tornado Warning in the Desert?

Last night there was a four hour Tornado Warning on top of the dust storm, thunder storm, and flood warnings.  We live in the desert.  Tornadoes are deal breakers.  We live in a place that doesn’t have things like hurricanes, tornadoes, or earthquakes because those things are deal breakers.  Know why I don’t live in Florida… because there’s hurricanes in Florida! So this weather was completely out of the ordinary.  The weather has been crazy the past few days with almost nonstop rain.  HomeTown got over five feet of snow!  I stated at Roommate’s house in BigCity because I couldn’t afford to leave and the weather made it unsafe to travel.

Last night I cleaned up after the goat and bigdog multiple times.  I checked on them a lot and gave them cookies and sweet hay.  In return, the stupid goat ATE part of the WALL.  Not like pieces off the door frame, or a corner… No, the flat normal part of the wall has goat teeth marks around a freaking HOLE it chewed in it!  There was pee and poop everywhere in their area of the garage AND outside and  because of flooding all the goat poop not mashed into the concrete ended up in the rocks where I can’t sweep it up.  I found this out when Roommate came in and yelled at me about it.  Roommate was understandably upset to come home and find such a huge gross mess.  Of course she did come home before 8am and I hadn’t been outside yet considering it was my day off and I slept in until 7:30 after being up so late because of the TORNADO WARNING.  She cleaned up for 45 minutes without coming inside so I didn’t even know she was home.  Then she came in and yelled at me!  Welcome home Roommate… it totally sucks because at 10:30 last night they were fine.  The wall was whole, there was no pee or poop anywhere.  I gave them their end of the night treats and turned on a radio for them to help drown out the storm noise outside.  None of that mattered because Roommate came home and thought (and probably still thinks) that I don’t take care of her animals while she’s gone.  If it was true then her disappointment and anger would be easier to deal with.  STUPID WALL EATING GOAT!  Who even owns a goat when they don’t live on a farm anyway?!?  Her house is in the middle of a suburb of BigCity. WTF?! Oh, yeah… following a trail of pee, Roommate also found a dead mouse.  Great.  Now there are mice in this zoo.

Now that the weather has calmed down I’m going to go get ready to go out with work friends for Mongolian BBQ!  It should be interesting and fun.  I still feel ready to cry.  I hate those stupid animals and Roommate.  I take such great care of them and the house and after a literal freak of nature suddenly I seem like a bad person.  By the way, she didn’t even ask if I was ok.  I wasn’t, by the way.  I was alone in a huge house with the air conditioning running because I’m not aloud to touch it to change the temperature even though I’m the only one actually residing in the house while there is pouring rain and crazy wind.  I slept in the bathtub because I saw something on TV once about someone surviving a tornado because they were in the bathtub.  When I went out to my garage I discovered the 1/4″ gap between the ground and the garage door had flooded into my area and soaked the floor rug I’d put down. This is awful. I hate living here.  I feel so crazy…

Interesting Friends You’ve Got There Roommate

Today was another interesting day!  This time it was an interesting work day with a good evening thrown in.  It’s almost 10:30 but worth it because I had so much fun with Roommate of all people!  I finally got more training at work today!  Two jobs at once actually… which literally gave me a headache.  I learned receiving and cycle counting.  To start my day some dumb guy yelled at me about a cart.  That completely sucked because I don’t deal well with being yelled at and it took me completely by surprise too.  But on my morning break I talked with some fellow gamers!  We compared Halo tips and they were impressed with my “Bro bashing techniques.”  It was awesome!  The number of shelves for stocking were the lowest ever!  I got to go to Roommate’s best friend’s house for dinner after work.  (They are the ones that watch Roommate’s little dog sometimes.)  They have a wonderful interesting house!  That’s the nicest thing I can say about them… they also have a HORRIBLE not at all trained dog.  It stole my napkin off my lap during dinner three times and even stole my flip flop right off my foot!  The only way they can get the dog to do anything is to run to the counter and get him a dog treat and then trade it for whatever he stole.  The dog gets so many treats I don’t know how he can run instead of roll except that he just runs Roommate and her friend around and around in circles as they chase after him trying to retrieve all the things he steals… Bright-Side: I ate so many raspberries my tongue hurt!  After dinner Roommate and I hung out and chatted back at her house.  I learned a lot about her and her best friend.  I think she learned a lot about me too!  It was awesome because we really have not had many chances to talk together even though I’ve lived here almost a month.  It’s the first time we’ve had this much time together anyway.  Boyfriend called and we talked more tonight, right before I wrote this in fact, and he’s just amazing!  We’re so happy and in love.  The distance sucks but we’ve gotten much better at the whole long distance thing.  I miss him and can’t wait for him to move up here but we are good for now and that helps a lot with the waiting.  Now- sleepy time!  It’s still tired in here!

The Best Day of Inventory Work So Far

What a great day!  Today was filled with a multitude of tasks that I could cross of f my list and complete.  It got me out of the awful area of the warehouse and gave me some variety.  It felt good to get so much done.  Also, my routine of greeting people has begun paying off.  There were plenty of smiles to go around today!  Again, one of the ladies complimented me on my great smile and an older guy from another department called me beautiful!  That was flattering and rather strange…  Today I answered my first radio call!  The warehouse guys have begun teasing me; they’ll walk by and say “Faerie copy Faerie” like I’m being radioed.  So far I have not fallen for it but it’s pretty funny anyways. (Author’s Note: As I retyped this entry I didn’t find that funny… I guess you had to have been there! … */facepalm* )  I sliced my finger on a plastic container and had to get a band aide and that was also interesting.  For lunch, the catering lady actually saved me some chicken tortellini!  It was SUPER DELICIOUS!  My feet still hurt intensely, but if my days are like today, then I think everything is going to be great with this job. I realized that having a walking talking (aka radio aka runny screamy (because people run around screaming into them)) hanging from my pocket pulls my pants down just a bit.  It is SUPER annoying because now I’m constantly tugging at my clothes!  Without the radio my clothes work alright.  Today I also realized that I’m the youngest person on my team!  J is 29 and he is the closest person to my age.  Oh!  I forgot about G.  I will ask tomorrow to find out how old he is.  Sometimes I feel really young!  This is none of their first jobs.  My speed at pulling and stocking is definitely improving.  I don’t know how my mistakes record has been but I’m going for zero mistakes!

(Author’s Note:  This paragraph jumps around a lot.  I thought about changing it so it was more logical but leaving it this way really conveys what a streaming consciousness my journal was.  I wrote these entries after working 10-12 hour shifts where I stood and ran around the whole time moving heavy cases.  I had a 45 minute commute in the morning and an hour commute with rush hour traffic on my way home.  When I got home I had to spend an hour feeding my Roommate’s pets.  That was our arrangement:  She was a flight attendant and was only home a few days of each month.  I stayed in her house for the first three months of my employment in BigCity and my rent was to feed the animals consisting of 2 dogs, 1 cat, and 1 pygmy goat and take care of the house.  The cat was an inside cat.  The small dog was an inside/outside dog who sometimes stayed with Roommate’s best friend for weeks at a time.  The big dog who was ancient was an outside dog and shared a fenced area with a grassy area, a kiddy pool, and a play house, that also included part of the large three car garage.  Each animal had an extremely particular diet that I had to adhere to that took about an hour to feed all of them.  (Ask me some other time about it and I might tell you.)  Roommate parked in that garage when she was home.  I slept in the small garage attached to the other side of the house.  Also I am terribly allergic to cats and nature.  You can start to see why I stopped writing about the details of my living situation as more details emerge.  It was not a great situation but I was determined to succeed with this job to prove that I could be successful.  I had a plan and was stubborn enough to live in a garage for five and a half months to try and make it work.)

On a radically different note: My cousin is going off to boarding school!!!!  He leaves in two weeks!  YAY!  There is hope for him yet!  There is hope for my grandparents!  YAY!  I’m going to try and see him before he leaves so he knows we all support this decision and to try and help him see it as the positive opportunity it is.  I’m so glad this is happening!   (Author’s Note:  I have a troubled cousin.  He’s one of those kids that you hope will turn out to be a succuess story about how they overcame their troubled childhood to become an upstanding member of society.  Instead he keeps making poor choices and things are looking bleak for his future.  This boarding school was a chance for him to turn things around, get away from so many negative influences and away from the bad habits.  It was such a big change and the family pinned so many hopes to his being successful there…. Turns out he made worse choices at the school, ended up getting kicked out and as soon as he turned 18 was arrested and tried as an adult for the crimes he committed there.  He is now in jail, rightfully rotting away.  The thing I comfort myself with is this thought:  as much as he adored the Harry Potter series he will not get to know how it ends.  He won’t get to watch the movie or read the books.  He burned so many bridges that no one will send him anything and he has no way of getting it.  It seems like a petty, small thing but I literally cannot handle thinking about real things that go on in jail so I focus on this small, petty punishment and what a big, awful thing it will seem to him and I feel like good about that punishment.  I hope to never hear from him, speak to him, or know anything about him ever again.  Some people can be rehabilitated but some people are just evil.  I believe this cousin is an evil person and I refuse to allow that influence in my life.  This paragraph is the most I’ve talked or thought about him in years.  When I’m done writing it I will go back to happily pretending he does not exist.  If you have someone like this in your life, you are not doing yourself any favors by allowing them to bring such darkness to your days.  Sometimes you have to burn the bridge to keep the crazies from following you across.)

On another different note: I haven’t talked with or heard from Boyfriend at all today.  He seriously sucks at the long distance thing.  I’m lonely and my feelings are hurt.  I feel like I’m the only one who initiates contact.  He is also always busy hanging out with the drama bomb group.  It’s all so strange that I don’t know what to think anymore.  I didn’t talk to him much yesterday either but my positive thoughts kept me feeling alright.  We do GREAT when we’re together but things seem to fall apart when we’re apart… I just miss him so much and I get so sad.  Cliche, as it may be, when he’s around things are brighter and even my sadness is not so sad as it is when he’s around.  I’m going to be now because it’s 9pm now and officiate Late and I’m SO tired! (Author’s Note:  He ended up calling right after I wrote this.  We got better at the long distance relationship thing as we practiced more.  The biggest help was figuring out our schedules and making set plans for talking that worked for both our schedules.  I worked from 5 or 6 in the morning to 4 or 5 in the evening.  He worked in retail with a rotating schedule that could be morning, afternoon, or closing shifts that may not have ended until 9:30.  Sometimes he even had to work late night shifts and our schedules may be exactly opposite.  We overcame that and a lot of the frustration by communicating our expectations, schedules, and affection.  It’s easy to feel lonely across long distances but if you speak each other’s love language it makes the time you do have together that much more special.)

Goodnight and sweet dreams! (Author’s Note:  I always want someone to tell me to have sweet dreams before I go to sleep because I feel like it helps me actually have sweet dreams, instead of nightmares or not being able to sleep.  If there wasn’t someone to tell me, I often wrote it to myself in my journal as a closing thought.  I even would tell all the pets at Roommate’s house to have sweet dreams.  Good karma and all that. 🙂 )

 

My Poor Feet

Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow!!!!!! Also, OW!  My poor feets!  They hurt SO bad!  The rest of me is fine and feels great (except my blurry eyes), but my feet hurt!  So far, just the bottoms – fingers crossed it doesn’t get worse- and here’s me hoping it gets better! *facepalm*

I’m too tired to be lonely… right?  I hope I make friends soon.  I’m not sure what to do this weekend.

Options:

-Stay? Stay here in BigCity with my new job in my Dad’s Best Friend’s Mom’s (aka Roommate’s) un-airconditioned garage?

-Go to HomeTown?  Go to HomeTown to visit my parents and dogs?

-Go to CollegeTown?  Go to CollegeTown to stay in my own apartment with Boyfriend?

I don’t know.  Tomorrow maybe I will be on the computer AND maybe I’ll get to sign up for benefits!  Yay health, prescription, vision, and dental coverage in addition to having stock options, 401k matching, and paid time off also!  I don’t feel grown up… I still believe in magic!  I miss my family… all three of them and The Babies (2 dogs living with Parents in HomeTown).  Maybe tomorrow I’ll make a work friend!  Tonight I will have sweet dreams.