Exit Maid of Honor

Today was a hugely intense day!

Today we FINALLY received our first proofs for the wedding invitations!  They were not quite right so we made some changes and hopefully will be able to send them out into the world by the 15th!

Today I also kicked my Best Friend (BF), my maid of honor, out of the wedding!  She has been a terrible friend in the last year.  Ever since she got a boyfriend.  Her first boyfriend ever, in fact.  Her secret boyfriend she couldn’t tell me about because he was married. Also ever since that fight we had about illegal immigration she hasn’t been the same.  Basically, she’s stopped talking to me since I’ve been engaged and that was almost a year ago.  We’ve talked -maybe- once a month.  We used to have standing Tuesday phone dates since we live across the country from each other and we would also text throughout the week.  I literally have not heard from her since January when I asked her to buy the specific bridesmaids dress my Maid of Awesome and I picked out.  All of my wedding planning books say to make sure the bridesmaids dresses have been purchaed by 3 months to the big day.

I’ve been more and more anxious and stressed about stupid BF and her dumb dress and breaking our friendship then I have been stressed by my mom or future mother in law!  I finally realized that I literally cannot deal with this much stress.  Not physically, mentally, or emotionally.  So I called her, texted her, and Facebooked her.  NO ANSWER!  I left messages with each form of communication that I tried asking if she had bought her dress yet. So since the last form of communication I had from her was a text message, I tested her again today asking her if she got my messages, and also her dress.

She FINALLY responded via text by saying, “No.  I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.  I’m at the doctor’s office now but will try to call you later.”

It made me incredibly angry all over again. Now she’s seeing a doctor and didn’t even tell me she was sick?  Now I even feel guilty because OMG my BF is sick.  Then I remembered that I’ve been reaching out a few times a week since JANUARY so it’s not like she’s been too sick to respond even once.  Not. even. once. We have been friends since we were freshmen in high school.  We have been friends for 10 years.  We made a high school promise to be there for each other on our wedding days and I honored that promise and asked her to be my maid of honor.  She was so excited in that initial conversation and then everything just fell further and further apart.

She doesn’t want to be in my wedding and it doesn’t feel like she even wants to be my friend either.  So I gave it until after 5pm and called her again.  STILL NO ANSWER!

So I texted her, “Hi.  I know you are incredibly busy and have  a lot going on.  Maybe it was unfair of me to put so much pressure on you about the wedding.  Don’t worry about getting a dress.  I hope you can still come as a guest.  We;re still friends and I know if you could do it, you would.”

She called me two hours later and we talked for the first time in months.  She said she really can’t afford the dress and I said I knew and that it was ok and that I hoped she could still come to the wedding anyway as a guest. (It wasn’t ok and she could afford it.  She makes more then I did an hour at my last job and I made bank!  Also, I had already offered to pay for the dress five months ago and again three months ago, so that was a bullsh!t excuse!)  We talked for an hour and a half.  It was actually nice because I miss her!  I miss our friendship!I hope we will still be able to be friends and that she’ll stop being so selfish!

Also, exciting job prospect in the wings!  But I’m tired and going to sleep for the moment!  I think I may actually sleep tonight because as awful as this day was… at least now I know.  At least a decision has been made so I can move forward without something that should be so positive instead weighing me down all the time.


Some Nights to Someday

Today I returned to Roommate’s house from a stay in CollegeTown.  I went down Friday afternoon and got an allergy shot.  It was good to see Boyfriend.  We hung out with Y-Friend (Y) on Saturday and it was awesome!  She’s such a good friend!  S-Friend (S), CS-Friend (CS), and CD-Friend (CD) were dumb as usual (as usual lately anyways).  We were going to go to a part for S but Boyfriend was informed it was turned into a “boys night” which is STUPID because non of them have ever (in the two years I’ve known them) had girlfriends!  So, really they just want to exclude me, which really hurts, despite my trying not to care.  I’m glad I have Boyfriend because I feel quite lonely at this junction in my life.

I am unsettled…. I have a HomeTown phone number, an address is CollegeTown, and a job in BigCity.  When someone asks where I’m from, I can just reply: “State” because I’m so spread out that it’s true!  I finished a book today and am reminded of my blog… three entries in and I moved and stopped writing.

(Author’s note:  This was a previous attempt at blogging which never made more then those three initial entries.  This blog is a data entered journal that has been edited to remove incriminating Proper Names and Places and is being written in 2013.)

It’s late (almost midnight) and I should be asleep, having gone to bed hours ago.  Instead, I’ve been tiredly wandering around my bookshelf and aimlessly watching T.V.  Today I bought some shoe inserts.  I hope they help my poor feet!  Despite my faerie fans this big “empty” house is freaking me out.  I keep hearing strange noises.  Blah. Roommate offered her bed and I can’t help but wonder if it’d be an improvement to this damn futon with its stupid extender nonsense that makes me sleep in a tiny tiny curled ball.  I won’t sleep there even if it is better because that’s just strange.

I wish Boyfriend was here!  I found a chain of the company he works at right on my way to work!  I hope he can be promoted and transferred somewhere near my job.  I love him SO much!  Someday we’ll get married.  It makes my heart sing to think about!

(Author’s Note: Turns out, I was right!  We DID get married!  We got married on our 6 year anniversary! And Boyfriend (Now Husband) DID get promoted and transferred, even if it did take him 9 months!)

On sweet love-filled thoughts of the future, I will now try to sleep.

Goodnight and sweet dreams!