Role Playing Commentary

“But,” she said, “I don’t know what clever quip my character would make in this situation.  That’s why I said she makes a clever comment to the effect of go get lost hunting for mushrooms.  I am not as clever as my character therefore I am incapable of coming up with a comment as clever as the one she would.  I thought this was role playing?  I don’t have a cunning score as high as my character so how the hell am I supposed to know what sneaky motives she has for all her actions?” She slammed both hands on the table, making the dice jump and the soda slosh in the cans.

Yes, its role playing but how boring would it be if instead of adding dialogue we all just said things like, ‘my character jumps across the bridge’ instead of describing how the character ‘used the heads of the goblins as stepping stones as she lightly pranced her superiority across their upturned faces.’  The first one works, yes.  The second comment is more of what we’re after.  It’s much more interesting for the rest of us.  You may not be as cunning as your character or react as fast but some kind of dialogue and effort is exponentially better than simple description.”  His sincerity didn’t quite match the situation because it was just a game.  It’s not like she was insulting him or his ability to be creative.

“I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to be able to control a character that is so different from myself. “

“It’s fun.  That’s what makes it fun is the challenge and the newness; the fact that you get to be clever instead of constantly missing the point.” The third person at the table helpfully chimed in.

“Great.  Thanks” she said rolling her eyes.  This game was not going like she’d planned.  It’s not as if the rest of her life was going along with her plans so it made sense that something as simple as a game in her free time wouldn’t go the way she expected either.  That would mean something was going right for a change.  She sighed in exasperation at the direction of her thoughts.  “I think I’m just tired” she admitted.  “Maybe one more fight and then I’m about done for the night.  Next week will go smoother.” She hoped so anyway.

She enjoyed these silly role playing games but sometimes the group’s drama made it challenging to just relax and enjoy the game.  Whenever the drama bled into the game she was always frustrated.  It seemed like it was happening more often too, which really didn’t improve her desire to keep playing.



Meanwhile, In Faerie’s Imagination

“Inspiration struck as she was amidst the stacks.  Furtively, she looked around, pulled out her notebook and began furiously scribbling (hopping she could read it later!) 

“What are you doing?”  She screeched and jumped two feet into the air as her notebook went flying, pages in disarray.  “Get back to work!  That wasn’t counting!  Them was words on those pages!  I don’t pay you to scribble, I pays ye to count, move boxes, and count more!  Not scribble in yer little book!”  She picked up the offensive book in question and stowed it away quickly in her pocket and got back to working.”


This little scene struck me like a bottle falling on my head off a tall shelf today while I was working in the warehouse back room.  I looked around and didn’t see anyone so I pulled out my notebook and wrote it down.  It was fascinating to me because it was a fictionalized commentary about actual events that took place as a result of imagining the fictional commentary.  Ironically if my boss had seen me writing in my notebook she would have criticized me for it…. Some days all you can do is laugh in defiance of the madness of your surroundings.


“Sam I Am Too” Dialogue Scene

Sam I Am Too


CS:  You’re me!

FR:  I’m not you.

CS:  Yes, you are.

FR:  Nnooo…

CS:   Sure you’re not, but if you’re not me, then who are you?

FR:  I’m Sam

CS:  Me too!  See, you are me!

FR:   Whoa there turbo!

CS:  Alright fine, but if you’re not me, then how do you know about that time in the fourth grade where I-

FR:   Where you whoopee cushioned that guy after the pledge?  Haha

CS:  Ah-Hah!  You are me, or else you wouldn’t know that.

FR:   Yes I would, I watched you do it.  I was in that class.

CS:   Of course you were- you’re me!

FR:   No.  I sat in the back row, third seat from the corner.

CS:  hey!  Me too!

FR:  Really?  That’s pretty cool.

CS: yeah!

FR:  Hold on… you sat in the same seat as me?  How’s that work?

CS: Simple- We are the same person. Duh.

Both: This is weird.  Stop talking at the same time as me!  No you stop.

CS:  Hey you started it!

FR: What?  This is all your crazy idea, not mine.

CS:  Whoa there turbo.

FR:  That’s not funny.  I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here but it needed to be over five minuets ago.

CS:   I’m not pulling anything.  Look, I’m telling you- we’re the same person!

FR:  Right… Well I’m going to go call someone to get you some help ok.

CS:  Ok.  I’ll call too- cuz we’re the same person!  You don’t seem to get it.

FR:  Right. Anyway.  Hello.  Yes, I’d like to report a mentally disturbed person who’s been terrorizing me.

CS: Don’t listen to her!  She’s insane!

FR:   Hey!  You’re the crazy one!

CS:   What are you talking about?

FR:  What are you talking about?  Yes, I’m still here.

CS:   Me too.

Both:  Get off the phone!  This is my call.  You get off!

CS:  Look, shut up, I really don’t have time for these childish games.

FR:   You’re the one who started it.  Besides, if I’m you, then you’re telling yourself to shut up.

CS:  Ah-ha!  So you admit it!  You’re me!

FR:  If I admit it will you leave?

CS:  Yes I’ll- Hey!  What are you talking about?  If I leave you’d have to leave too!

FR: How about this, we leave together and then I ditch you!

CS: Ok!  Wait, that doesn’t work!

FR:   Sure it does!  Watch… This is me leaving!

CS:   Wait!  I know how to explain this!  Maybe we’re in an inter-dimensional portal and-

FR:   No.  That’s just stupid.

CS:   Fine!  I can see I’m not appreciated here, so I’m leaving.

FR:   Good, go torment someone else.

CS:   Don’t worry, I’m sure you will.

FR: Whatever.  Bye now.

CS:  Bye now.

Both:  This has been one hell of a weird day.