TOTAL BLOG EXCITEMENT!!!

OMGOMGOMG!!!!!

I just found out that one of my favorite websites, Offbeat Home & Life, is going to publish a blog post I wrote!!!!!!

I wrote the post a month or so after I got married back in 2012 and tucked it away.  A few days ago I found the post, thought it was awesome, and I polished it up and posted it here under the date when I originally wrote it.  It’s called “Stir Fridays, Wedding-Free Wednesdays, and Tasting Tuesdays.”  My favorite part about the post is that my husband and I still do Stir Fridays!!!  You guys, it’s been 3 years since we got married and we still do this habit we started in the year before that…  That’s amazing! That’s why I liked the post so much, because it made sense and was still working!  To be fair (and honest) we don’t do Stir Friday every week, but whenever we have stir fry, we call it that.  We still cook dinner together when we can and we still call a lot of our cooking experiences “Adventures in Cooking.”

We don’t generally go out to dinner on Tuesdays anymore either because our schedules have changed dramatically since I wrote the post.  We do keep a list of new restaurants to try and when neither of us has something specific in mind for dinner, we go to the list!  We moved about four months ago and although we’re only a few blocks from our old apartment we are technically in a new city.  We’ve been dutifully exploring new restaurants and delivery places.  We are still searching for a delicious pizza place but we found the most AMAZING sushi restaurant!

Wedding-Free Wednesdays has mostly faded from our routine… I think that using that rule/habit worked for us that we used until we didn’t need it anymore.  Perhaps our communication skills have gotten better and/or we just don’t have that kind of huge stressful event weighing down on us anymore.  While we don’t have a whole day set aside I think we are both good at communicating when we get overwhelmed and then we ease back off the topic or work to resolve the thing causing stress.

I’m so scared and excited!  Sending the post to Offbeat Home was a huge deal for me because:

1) I love that site and read it (seriously) every day,

2) I shared something I wrote with the intent to get it published, and

3) I linked the post to my blog.

I did a happy dance when I got the email and I ran around my house yelling about how excited I am!  Then, I made my husband dance with me and I read him the email (punctuated with lots of OMGs)… Now I figured I better post something with this year’s date on it so that if someone clicks the link to the blog they don’t think it’s a dead blog! Which leads me to…

A Little about the Blog

I have been posting on this blog for a couple of years now.  The way I usually post is to post things that I wrote in the past.  I like to do that because looking back I can add context to make the “old” stuff have more layers of meaning.  Like, the Stir Fridays thing… I posted it because it worked for us and is just a normal part of our lives now.  I love the before and after of the post. These days I try to post at least once a week.

I often consider posting about more recent events in my life but it’s complicated…  This is my “secret” blog.  I haven’t shared this blog with my family or friends because I wanted a place to share my writing without the anxiety of knowing everyone on my Facebook feed will be sent an update about it.  A lot of what I write about involves the people in my life and it’s not always comfortable to know that they’re going to read it.  (Since I stopped being friends with jerks I figure that if I told my friends I had a blog, they would probably read it.)   This blog started as a way for me to get more comfortable with sharing my writing.  (Seems like it’s working since I shared a post with a big website!)  Eventually I want to get comfortable enough that I will send my novel out into the world to try and find an editor and publisher.

There are a couple gaps when I stopped posting for a while… During one of these gaps I had a job where I didn’t feel comfortable having a “secret” blog because I was pretty sure it would get found, so I let it just hang out for a while.  After I changed jobs I picked the blog up again.  Then, last October I had some major medical issues to deal with (Downside, 3 major abdominal surgeries within 5 months. Brightside, not cancer! WOO!)   I’m actually still healing/recovering from these surgeries (nerve pain is a lingering, spiteful b**ch) but I’m getting better and that’s awesome! I’m working on a post about my advice on dealing with medical stuff when you have severe medical anxiety. I (perhaps surprisingly, perhaps not) have found a lot of success in dealing with medical-related things such as:

  • Scheduling appointments,
  • Actually going to medical appointments,
  • Having major surgeries,
  • Dealing with work after you’ve been injured and while you’re recovering,
  • Organizing medical bill and insurance statement mail,
  • Paying medical bills, and
  • Working with your partner throughout all that stuff above.

That post is one I also plan on sending to Offbeat Home because I looked for advice on this sort of stuff and it was hard to find.  I’m also going to be continuing to post about my Study Abroad trip to Italy. In addition, I’ll be posting my favorite photos from National Geographic’s photo of the day, funny things from Pinterest, and lots of book-related posts.

Thank you so much for visiting my blog and reading my stuff!  If you have requests for the type of posts you’d like to see more, please let me know if the comments below!

Ciao!

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Stir Fridays, Wedding-Free Wednesdays, and Tasting Tuesdays

You got married because you make a good team. You are good at doing things together; in fact you enjoy doing things together! Then the wedding planning comes along and suddenly “things together” often evolves into wedding things. I noticed when I was planning a wedding that it was pretty much always lurking in the back of my mind. I would be having a conversation with my fiancé about work, video games, or dinner and in one breath would say something relevant to the conversation and the next breath would be a question about the wedding, or a thought about the wedding. It didn’t matter if I was trying not to bring it up. It didn’t matter if the wedding had nothing to do with what we were talking about. It didn’t even matter if the wedding topic was relevant or not. It only mattered that the wedding leaked into all aspects of my life for the year that I was planning it. In fact, now the wedding is over and it is still leaking into everything. It is noticeable because of the vacuum it left in my life. Instead of constantly thinking, worrying, stressing, planning, organizing, and doing wedding things, I am not doing those things. And I notice. And it’s strange. And I don’t want it to be strange…but it is.

My wedding was almost a month ago and people have pretty much stopped bringing it up. But then I’ve found that I bring it up on accident. We will be talking about something and it will remind me of something that happened at the wedding and I will say it. Then sometimes I am embarrassed about it! How silly is that?! I spent a year planning something and am embarrassed that not even a month later I am still talking about it. I don’t think I need to be embarrassed because it was a big deal and now I’m married, which is also a big deal. It is important to remember that while the wedding is a big deal, so are other things. And while it is ok to think about the wedding, feel about the wedding, and even to obsess about the wedding, it is also ok not to do those things. Yes, I spent a lot of money, time, and effort… but I feel like I am ready to move on now. But while moving on, some of the things I (and my partner) learned and implemented while planning the wedding are going to carry over into married life. We’re still the same people, now we’re just married people with some bad habits and some good habits.

Here are three good habits my husband and I have carried over from wedding planning to married life: Stir Fridays, Tasting Tuesdays, and Wedding Free Wednesdays.

Stir Fridays:

Stir Fridays brings us back to us being a team. My husband and I make a good team. One of the things we enjoy doing together is cooking. So, on Friday (or whatever day “Stir Friday” lands on this week) we make stir fry together. It is an easy meal to make that has a big payoff! We shop for ingredients together choosing whatever sounds good this week. Next we chop vegetables together. Then one of us cooks while the other gets the dishes ready. It is an excuse to hang out together, to remind yourself and your partner why you make a good team. Bonus- Stir Friday can help you practice working as a team if sometimes you struggle with that!

Tasting Tuesday:

Tasting Tuesday came about because we wanted to try out different rehearsal dinner restaurants. We made a (and keep) a running list of restaurants to try. We tried going on weekends but the places were always packed and sometimes the prices were a bit higher. Also, we usually had plans on weekends so it became tough to coordinate. We decided that there was nothing stopping us from going out earlier in the week, thus Tasting Tuesdays began! We pick a new restaurant every week and go out for dinner on Tuesday. If we tried a restaurant but were not quite sure if we liked it or not, but we wanted to like it, then we add that restaurant back to the list for a later time. If we find a restaurant we really like, then we add that one back to the list too. If the restaurant doesn’t make it back on the list…well hey at least we had an adventure together trying something new!

Wedding-Free Wednesdays:

Wedding-Free Wednesdays came about because we both needed a break from the wedding planning. It was nice to have a no-pressure day. It was nice to have a day where we had permission to focus on other parts of our lives, where we gave ourselves a break from the stress and worry of our To Do Lists. It was nice to be able to forgive each other even if the wedding leaked into the day, which it often did. Wedding-Free Wednesday is a free day to just be together and not talk about the most stressful part of your life. While we no longer have to limit wedding talk, we take turns deciding what topic our Wednesdays will be free of each week. Sometimes it is family, sometimes its friends, sometimes its work. (Work is a bit tough because we still have to go to work, but at least we don’t have to rehash the problems of the workday when we get home.)

 

The most important things about these days is just to remember how much you love each other. When your love is overshadowed by wedding stress it can be a pretty miserable experience to plan a wedding. When you have islands of time where the stress is brushed aside, overlooked, and perhaps even forgotten while you focus on each other and your relationship without all the guilt or pressure, the wedding planning process because a lot more bearable, and sometimes even fun! Just remember, it’s the pressure-free part that makes these days a respite from the stress. If you make yourself feel bad because you called the florist on Wedding-Free Wednesday, you missed the goal.