Downward Spiral

I think of myself as a writer.  I want to write.  My whole life, writing is a job I’ve never wavered from.  Now, I’m still unemployed and people keep telling me what a great opportunity it is for my writing.  It seems to be and yet I’ve done very little writing.  I’ve done lots and lots of reading and felt inspired to write, but the words get tangled in uncertainty before I get them down.  I just read a quote from Robin Hobb that writers always write what they know.  Maybe that’s my problem?  Maybe I’m feeling so low, uninspired, and uncertain that the writing could only share it?  I don’t know.  I know our money is running out.  Realistically I haven’t been looking for a job in the last two weeks.  I’ve dabbled in job searching and waited for something to come to me.  I had an idea about trying to get on at that study abroad company.  It seems interesting.  Really, I’m super worried about money.  I think I’m depressed.  I don’t want or care about any jobs I see online anymore.  I’ve lost my passion and my believe in myself.  I hope I find it again before things get really bad……

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