So much has happened since the last time I’ve written here. So many times I’ve thought about what I would write. I still have many of the drafts in my head… I tend to journal when things are dark. I write to purge the negativity. When there is no one for me to talk to, I journal. It’s a bit sad to know that and see how many journals and such I’ve filled. I think that when I’m happy and things are going well, I try to live more in the moment. I embrace life. To move past the shadows of life I write so I can keep moving forward instead of getting locked into a worry cyclone. Also, I tell Boyfriend much of what I’d tell a journal so when I sit down to write I feel like I’m repeating myself. And whenever I have a gap in something like this journal or blog… I never know if I should address the gap, go over what’s happened since I last wrote, or if I should just dive back into the drama. I feel undisciplined. I need to write everyday. But I don’t… I’m ready to be happy and I don’t want to be in the forest forever.
(Author’s Note: I still struggle with the thoughts expressed in this entry. I still tend to tell Husband all the things I would journal. I still don’t write as much as I should. I still feel undisciplined. I still mostly write to purge the darkness and don’t record the light because I’m too busy keeping my face towards the sun. I just do the best I can with what I have and try to let that be enough.)