The Second Act

First day of my second week of work!  It’s rather surreal… I couldn’t sleep last night for many reasons, the main one being the speculation on whether I really have a job or not.  I worked 3 1/2 days, with a 1/2 day of orientation added for introduction to the company, last week.  Then, I had four days off.  It didn’t feel quite real… I guess it still seems too good to be true.  Today at work someone said “Hi” to me!!!!!  She initiated contact like I was a real person and not some placeholder between empty shelf and full shelf!  I was excited because I’d been in the zone, focusing on my tasks.  To be jogged out of concentration by a friendly greeting was a pleasant highlight of my day!  It was especially amazing because it was the very first time someone said hi to me first.  Like I didn’t say hi and she responded, SHE said hi to ME and I responded!!!

(Author’s Note:  This girl who said hi to me ended up becoming one of my closest friends and we still hang out all the time!!!)

I also officially met some lady I see all the time at lunch. We seem to have breaks at the same time so that was cool too!

Here is a strange phenomenon… I introduced myself to someone and he says, “Oh Faerie! I’ll remember that name because I live near Faerie Loop.”  (Author’s Note: Faerie is not my real name.  He was talking about my real name but in this blog I’m calling myself Faerie Reader instead of Realfirstname Reallastname. Just thought I’d clarify that no, my parents did not choose a cruel/crazy name for me like Hat, or Apple, or Faerie.) I introduced myself to another guy and he says, “I’ll remember you name because my dog’s name is Faerie!.”  I think this phenomenon is quite strange but two people have done it so it’s a phenomenon and not just a coincidence.

Today I trained in how to stock another area of the warehouse.  It doesn’t seem difficult or hard, rather there’s so much to do that it becomes a challenge.  I didn’t enjoy it because instead of being able to move from task to task, it just felt like I was diligently working but it didn’t matter because the numbers kept getting so high.  For example, I finally got the number of items I was supposed to be stocking down to 9! Yay!  Then I hit the refresh button and it turned out that I really had 60 lines!  It was extremely frustrating!  Also frustrating…my supervisor pulled me aside to talk about scheduling issues.  Basically I now work Tuesday – Friday.  I was going to work Sun-Wed but then a shift change happened.  Instead, I am going to be stuck with a crap schedule of Sat-Tues!  Yuck!

Bright-side: At least I’ll get more money…?  Lame!  My mom keeps reminding me (in addition to my optimism) that this is just a training job and/or “they’re” just testing me.  I’m beginning to wonder if that’s true.  So many people I work with have worked their SAME basic job here for YEARS.  I don’t think I could do it.  There doesn’t seem to be enough challenge for me to really stay.  I’m not even sure I like the job itself.

(Author’s Note: Turns out… I stayed for almost two years and I had the exact. same. job. that I started with and I worked that crap Sat-Tues schedule for the entire time.  I was never approved to change schedules because my boss had Sat-Mon off and didn’t want to work with me because she liked being the only female on the team while she was there. TOTALLY LAME but its amazing what you can grow accustomed to!)

Perhaps it’s just my loneliness talking.  When I get down my world seems to gray so maybe that’s why, or at least part of why, I’m so unsure about this position.  I’m trying to shine and stay positive.  If it all is a test… I hope it ends soon either way.  Although I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out.  Do I even want it to work out?  I think so.  I think I badly want it to work out because at least this is something.  Something I can be proud of…?  Maybe. But maybe because I can’t fully tell anyone what I do.  At least I get paid and get benefits and three day weekends.  (Boyfriend still hasn’t called and I don’t think he will.  We really don’t seem to have gotten any better at this whole long distance thing.  I’m tired and ready for bed so I can’t stay awake anymore, even if he hasn’t called. )

Dreaming of faerie music, sunshine, and bright tomorrows…

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