“Sam I Am Too” Dialogue Scene

Sam I Am Too


CS:  You’re me!

FR:  I’m not you.

CS:  Yes, you are.

FR:  Nnooo…

CS:   Sure you’re not, but if you’re not me, then who are you?

FR:  I’m Sam

CS:  Me too!  See, you are me!

FR:   Whoa there turbo!

CS:  Alright fine, but if you’re not me, then how do you know about that time in the fourth grade where I-

FR:   Where you whoopee cushioned that guy after the pledge?  Haha

CS:  Ah-Hah!  You are me, or else you wouldn’t know that.

FR:   Yes I would, I watched you do it.  I was in that class.

CS:   Of course you were- you’re me!

FR:   No.  I sat in the back row, third seat from the corner.

CS:  hey!  Me too!

FR:  Really?  That’s pretty cool.

CS: yeah!

FR:  Hold on… you sat in the same seat as me?  How’s that work?

CS: Simple- We are the same person. Duh.

Both: This is weird.  Stop talking at the same time as me!  No you stop.

CS:  Hey you started it!

FR: What?  This is all your crazy idea, not mine.

CS:  Whoa there turbo.

FR:  That’s not funny.  I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here but it needed to be over five minuets ago.

CS:   I’m not pulling anything.  Look, I’m telling you- we’re the same person!

FR:  Right… Well I’m going to go call someone to get you some help ok.

CS:  Ok.  I’ll call too- cuz we’re the same person!  You don’t seem to get it.

FR:  Right. Anyway.  Hello.  Yes, I’d like to report a mentally disturbed person who’s been terrorizing me.

CS: Don’t listen to her!  She’s insane!

FR:   Hey!  You’re the crazy one!

CS:   What are you talking about?

FR:  What are you talking about?  Yes, I’m still here.

CS:   Me too.

Both:  Get off the phone!  This is my call.  You get off!

CS:  Look, shut up, I really don’t have time for these childish games.

FR:   You’re the one who started it.  Besides, if I’m you, then you’re telling yourself to shut up.

CS:  Ah-ha!  So you admit it!  You’re me!

FR:  If I admit it will you leave?

CS:  Yes I’ll- Hey!  What are you talking about?  If I leave you’d have to leave too!

FR: How about this, we leave together and then I ditch you!

CS: Ok!  Wait, that doesn’t work!

FR:   Sure it does!  Watch… This is me leaving!

CS:   Wait!  I know how to explain this!  Maybe we’re in an inter-dimensional portal and-

FR:   No.  That’s just stupid.

CS:   Fine!  I can see I’m not appreciated here, so I’m leaving.

FR:   Good, go torment someone else.

CS:   Don’t worry, I’m sure you will.

FR: Whatever.  Bye now.

CS:  Bye now.

Both:  This has been one hell of a weird day.


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